


A is for An Apple

by TheWhiteLily



Series: Poems for Sherlock [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, Gen, Jim is a rubbish children’s television presenter, Oh look more Reichenbach, POV Jim Moriarty, Poetry, That’s strange Lily it’s like it’s your all-time favourite episode or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-06 14:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10336826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhiteLily/pseuds/TheWhiteLily
Summary: Gather closer, children. Jim The Storyteller’s here to help you learn your ABCs….





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the fan_flashworks prompt: "Apple". Thanks to Hubby for the beta.

A is for an apple saying I O U  
B would be the burning of your heart right through

C is for computer code which never was a clue  
D, it stands for dying, because that’s what people do

E for Eurus, trapped behind your memory’s glass wall  
F is for the fairytales foretelling you will fall

G for Grimm-ly promised ends to those for whom you care  
H is for the heart you try pretending isn’t there

I for idiots investigating at the Yard  
J for Jim and jewels, jails and jealousy unbarred

K, the King, ‘cause, honey, you should see me in a crown  
L, your live-in one, who’s doomed to watch you from the ground

M is Mycroft’s stories which he told, all unconcern  
N is for the nothing much I gave him in return

O! The debt you owe for all I’ve kept you entertained  
P is for the pool, and for the price that I explained

Q is for your questions, too confused to play the game  
R, of course, for Richard, and the case that made your name

S means only Sherlock: saint and sinner on the stand  
T is for the trial, and the cup that’s in my hand

U my best advertisement for genius tricked out  
V is for the verdict that had never been in doubt

W is wings on walls and windows painted red  
Existence is a bore, so don’t you wish that you were dead?

Y: the final question, no solution to be found  
Except at Z, the zenith, when we _all_ … fall… down….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My personal headcanon has an archive box of mocked up episodes of The Storyteller hidden somewhere for Mycroft and the Yard to find when they looked into the case to clear Sherlock's name, which has footage of Jim telling all kinds of psychopathic and confessional children’s stories, including that lost classic “The Hungry Donkey”.
> 
> I'll be adding a second chapter with an annotated version later today, expounding on the cleverness of me. I've got a couple of readers who are less obsessed with Sherlock than me (although most of you are just _fine_ , at least as far as _that's_ concerned ;) ), who may be confused by some of the references that go by fast, so I'll explicitly point them out, as well as some of the intentional double and triple meanings. There's two triples meanings that I'm aware of, if you're not too confused to play the game!


	2. The Dummy's Guide to A is for An Apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, no, no, no, no, this is too easy. I’m disappointed in you, ordinary readers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I realise this is very much over-annotated and that you are not, in fact doofuses. (You've got the good taste to be here reading my work after all.) But my OCD won't let me annotate on only a few lines and leave the others blank, okay? So enjoy some quotes from these wonderful moments, as I've been glad for a chance to dig through transcripts and remember them. :) 
> 
> Thanks as always to Ariane DeVere's for her incredible transcripts.

A is for an apple saying I O U  
    Jim left [this apple](http://24.media.tumblr.com/b25e567bb53d4cf840549a022000175b/tumblr_ml3lzsYcSW1s49ddco1_500.gif) behind when he visited 221B  
B would be the burning of your heart right through  
    JIM: I’ll burn the _heart_ out of you.

C is for computer code which never was a clue  
    JIM: There _is_ no key, DOOFUS!  
D, it stands for dying, because that’s what people do  
    SHERLOCK: People have died.  JIM: That’s what people _DO!_  

E for Eurus, trapped behind your memory’s glass wall  
    Combines Eurus's real (at the time Jim visited anyway) glass wall in Sherrinford, and the way she is locked away in Sherlock's mind with the memory he can't perceive influencing everything.  
F is for the fairy tales foretelling you will fall  
    JIM: Every fairytale needs a good old-fashioned villain. 

G for Grimm-ly promised ends to those for whom you care  
    JIM: I love newspapers. Fairytales. And pretty Grimm ones too.  
H is for the heart you try pretending isn’t there  
    SHERLOCK: I have been reliably informed that I don’t have one.  JIM: But we both know that’s not _quite_ true.

I for idiots investigating at the Yard  
    I like the way this looks like it's going to be unrelated to the next line, but then it is.  
J for Jim and jewels, jails and jealousy unbarred  
    A line I can't stop reciting out loud because of the rhythm.  I had a friend who taught me alliteration--she said it only counted if it came on the strong beats otherwise it just sounds messy, and this works so well with five alliterated strong beats in a row.  
    Also, the "jealousy unbarred" here refers to both Jim (who is obviously an obsessed stalker, jealous of Sherlock's attention) getting out of jail free; and to the jealous sentiments the idiots at the Yard bear for Sherlock's talents being given free rein and leading to his downfall.

K, the King, ‘cause, honey, you should see me in a crown  
    JIM: In a world with locked rooms, the man with the key is king; and honey, you should _see_ me in a crown.  
L, your live-in one, who’s doomed to watch you from the ground  
    JIM: Aren’t ordinary people adorable? Well, you know: you’ve got John. I should get myself a live-in one.  
    Also a three-way pun: John will always be on a level far below Sherlock's heights of intelligence; Jim threatens to put John metaphorically 'in the ground'; and of course John will stand on the ground to watch Sherlock's leap from Barts rooftop.  There was almost also a sexual reference relating to the implied function of a 'live-in one', but the line was stronger without.

M is Mycroft’s stories which he told, all unconcern  
    JOHN: Your own brother, and you blabbed about his entire life to this maniac.  
N is for the nothing much I gave him in return  
    SHERLOCK: Moriarty in turn gave us hints – just hints – as to the extent of his web. 

O! The debt you owe for all I’ve kept you entertained  
    JIM: I cut loose all those people, all those little problems, even thirty million quid just to get you to come out and play.  
P is for the pool, and for the price that I explained  
    JIM: If you don’t stop prying, I’ll _burn_ you.  
    I like the implication here that Jim thinks that dying is a fair exchange that Sherlock has willingly agreed to in exchange for being entertained; I do feel that's very much the way he thinks.

Q is for your questions, too confused to play the game  
    SHERLOCK: So how’re you going to do it... _burn me_?  
R, of course, for Richard, and the case that made your name  
    SHERLOCK: Reichen Bach – the case that made my name.  
    (And of course, that case also made Richard Brook's name, in a way.)  

S means only Sherlock: saint and sinner on the stand  
    JUDGE: Keep your answers brief and to the point. Anything else will be treated as contempt. Do you think you could survive for just a few minutes _without showing off_?  SHERLOCK: ...  
T is for the trial, and the cup that’s in my hand  
    SHERLOCK: Kettle’s just boiled.

U my best advertisement for genius tricked out  
    Hubby, when betaing for me, said "Tricked out? Doesn't that mean, like, a bike with too many streamers on it?" Yes, Hubby, bless your innocent head, that's exactly where the expression comes from.  
    But here's the other line with a three-way pun. Tricked out, as in a prostitute dressed up to ply her wares--Jim is advertising his own genius's availability to potential clients. Tricked out, as in a prostitute too worn out to continue--Jim is showing off that he's too much for genius Sherlock to keep up with him. And of course there's the other meaning of tricked, in that genius Sherlock is being tricked into playing into Jim's hands.   
V is for the verdict that had never been in doubt  
    SHERLOCK: Got to the jury, of course.  JIM: I got into the Tower of London; you think I can’t worm my way into twelve hotel rooms? 

W is wings on walls and windows painted red  
    The graffitied set of wings painted on the wall of Baker Street with "IOU" in the middle--and in Scotland Yard, when Sherlock looks out of the window to see "IOU" spray painted in red on the windows of the building opposite.  
Existence is a bore, so don’t you wish that you were dead?  
    JIM: Stayin’ alive! It’s so boring, isn’t it?  


Y: the final question, no solution to be found  
    JIM: Here we are at last – you and me, Sherlock, and our problem – the final problem.  
Except at Z, the zenith, when we _all_ … fall… down….  
    I think Jim is thinking particularly of the American version of the rhyme: Ring-a-round the rosie, A pocket full of posies, Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down.  
    JIM: As long as I’m alive, you can save your friends; you’ve got a way out.... Well, good luck with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Reichenbach. I... so like you. Did I ever say?


End file.
